so in the morning met up with sarah.

then her dad send us to HQ. thanks uncle!

we reached HQ and we were still early.
only the SJI people were there.
huhs. so we kinda slacked till about 10 plus.
den we go to the aeromodelling centre. khairul was weaker then hafnie. haha. klakar sot.
so we entered and got the things out.

we started flying.
actually just khairul.
when i wanted to fly the plane would not take off.
its either i am a bad pilot or the plane screwed up.
and there was only one good plane left. so that was it.
we were confined to the centre to repair those planes.
there were only fara, alan, khairul, hafnie,angel, sarah and me.
the rest were busy i guess.
and got some clts too.
after that we were on the grasspatch just waiting. there was only one plane and it had problems too. we could not do anything much about it. so sarah and me were singing dunno how many songs lar. it felt great. to b complimented by people . but thanks to sarah lar for boosting my morale. i dare say we sounded great.
so we were busy trying to fix the screwed up planes and our dear sarah and fara took a nap! -_-

den when they wake up straight away eat twisties. morover dey never invite the guys. we had to invite ourselves haha. sarah and me were singing our hearts out. heh. duet. some clt terdengar oso. paiseh sot!
so when we were almost going back we were told to do a set for ourselves. haish. so we did what we could. and we went off after that.
fara, sarah and me took train to lot one and then fara went home while sarah and me go eat at LJS. den went to look for sarah's sister berthday present.
den i went home. only to find out my mum went to the kubor without me. pissed off lar. i wanna see my granny. erghhh. den later went to expo. crappy but funny things.

then take taxi home the cost was like $34.45. fuck seh!
so watched tv a while and dhen here i am blogging about my day and you are reading it.


i cannot believe you could actually make me cry.
i dun blame you but,
i swear the pain i am feeling,
cannot be compared to what i have ever encountered in my lyfe.
i was listening to some songs which talked to me.
but i just dun understand why you would go to the extremes.
why are you doiing this to me.
i dun ask for your love.
i have never forced you have i?
neither am i very desperate for you.
i am just really upset and disspointed.
that i lost a friend.
someone i thought i could trust.

now i am not sure.
whether our friendship ever meant anything to you.
was your warmth all just and act.
i WAS happy at that time.
when you shared ur problems with me.
i was.
but now its as if nothing ever happened.
its like i am a complete stranger to you.
imagine how painful that would be.
i lost something i held close to my heart.
when my grandma passed away,
i had no mood to do anything.
i did not even want to come to school.
i wanted to quit everything.
but because i know i have friends hu do care.
frens like you.
i cried every night thinking about my grandma.
thinking about her cute smile and her sweet voice.
i wanted to give up on lyfe.
i wanted to join her.
she was the role model in my lyfe.
she suffered so much but never complained.
she even raised me until she became.
its just so hard to hold back my tears. i dun wanna let any of my family members to know i am this upset.
but i guess my grandmother now is looking down upon me. i am so ashamed to let her know that i cannot handle all this. but i really wanna meet her now. i want to join her.i need her to advice me.
pls give me the strength i need.
pray for me nani.
i am such a disgrace to you.
sorry for letting you down.
i hope to see you again nani.
i love you.

i am no ddespo. but the way you treat me hurts me.
you wun even talk to me.

Labels: i lost my hope.no more reason to live.